Check Please!

Do you know a different restaurant where I can go?

Restaurants and Waitresses must have, and need to have, a really great, I mean a really really great, sense of humour. Just think about it for a moment, anyone could say “Hey! Last time me food was still living! Take this back and bring me fresh food! I want it wiggling on the way down and slithering to try and get back up!” However, not just any Waitress or Restaurant, or even Group of Customers, will take this joke as you do and still laugh.

Customers, the most likely to not get the joke, and actually be rather annoyed because they have more sense of humour. They are most likely to stand up, wipe their mouth, throw the napkin down, and in utter disgust state their beliefs, “Disgusting,” before marching out of the establishment and never coming back. But, this is explained, these are people of the land, simple kind of normal people; You know… Morons.

How a Restaurant will take the joke, this is a very different matter. The term Restaurant in this case is referring to the Owners, Managers, Cooks, and any and all Food and Health Inspectors that are currently present while you are there. This will end in three ways. If none of the people know you, then you will be kicked out and banned. If you do personally know and are friends with the Owners or/and Managers, then you will get a warning but not be kicked out. However, if a Food and Health Inspector is present, and even if you are friends with anyone, you will still be kicked out and banned. Thus, remember, make friends with the restaurant owners and always watch your back for Liars.

Not the fun part, the different ways that a Waitress might respond to a wonderful comment. Yes, I know there are Waiters, but A) They are actually hosts, and B) There are fewer males then females so it does not matter. There are an unlimited amount of ways that they will respond, but here are five examples, to start with:

1. “Eww!” Answer: never return to the restaurant, it is obviously apparent that the managers and owners have a poor sense of hiring a competent or worthwhile staff.

2. The Waitress will stop serving your table for the rest of your stay. Answer: Love Letter on Napkin.

3. Spitting in the food. Answer: This Waitress obviously wants to be flirted with and hit on, she has a keen interest in sharing germs, try to kiss her.

4. Sarcastic Smirks, Insulting and yet still Complimenting Comments, and also including Playful Punches. Answer: Right back atcha. A Relationship is worth pursuing at this point as apparently this Waitress has a decent sense of humour, this may lead to an interesting conversation or an interesting series of conversations and continuing conversations.

5. She will do nothing. Answer: “Check Please!”

The Anecdotal Rabbit

Privacies

My name is not that!

I was thinking lately about the privacy act laws that we have instated, the ones that you have to follow because it is the government regulating it, I got bad knees so I have a problem with bowing down. But alright, these laws are the ones where you cannot get a single bit of information because you are not the person on the account, it does not matter if you are the one paying it and taking care of it in every form… you cannot know anything. A lot of fun on the phone there, make a random call to some random company and demand the information about twenty different people, make sure you are calling on the cellphone belonging to some idiot though (such as your own), that way the FBI will have a plausible target.

There is the security problems with protecting private information, and protecting identities. That is why it is most ominous and must be answered when some random site online asks for your Social Security Number. Who even remembers their own number? I think it starts with a 5, and you got a 10% chance to guess the next character. And what do you mean I need my real name? Why do you think I am The Anecdotal Rabbit, because I like the name? Well, I do like the name, but that is not the point, like I am going to tell everyone that my name is Alexander Reynolds? Oh, I just did. Alright, I will start posting pictures of myself?

My biggest issue right now is actually from a certain website, really annoying me, those sweet words: “your name change request has been rejected by our automated approval system.” Okay? So i am not allowed to change my name? I could have just gone down to a courthouse and “legally” changed my name to goofy scrappy doo? The point of blocking this is? Of course, you really do not have to legally change anything in the first place, if you want to be called “Toto Annihilation” then go for it. If you want to say you were born in a Buddhist Monastery high in the Andes Mountains on the 30^th of April in the year 1945, then go for it. If you and another person are believing that you are married and you made a promise to each other, witnesses to the contract, all that then you are; IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS, it matters what God knows.

All of these issues that we have for the Security and Privacy. We have instated laws on it, the biggest laws in the wrongest of ways; and, protecting you if you want to bow down, maybe get some knee pads, and I will tell you just where the nose goes.

Maybe I do have it all wrong about the status of idiocy. But, Nah.

The Anecdotal Rabbit

Movie Endings

But wait till we bring II, and III, and then IV just when you think it is over.

A lot of movies do this, they have fairly good endings and then what? We can watch the ending ruined when they bring another movie onto the scene, they realize they did not do a good job on the II movie and they will leave it with a huge cliffhanger, then they release the III movie with the ending that gets either the reaction “I am going to kill everyone involved with making this”, or, “I am at peace now.” Perhaps I am thinking Pirates of the Caribbean, or perhaps I am not thinking of a movie but just thinking about Halo. Technically, there is a Halo IV and Halo V, and Halo VIv2.0. I do not believe that Pirates of the Caribbean will make another movie, the stupid and lame part of the ending makes it rather solid as well. However, there are a few untied ends through the movie that means, if the actors are listening to the paycheck, they will make a Pirate of the Caribbean 1/2: The whole tie between Blackbeard and Jack Sparrow? And the relation between Jack Sparrow and Cutler Beckett?

If they do film a 1/2, then I will just say it, they should try to film it with younger, etchier versions of themselves:

Teenage Teal'c: Yo! Wonderbread! You got that address figured out?

Teenage Daniel: Chill T! I'm like, translating as fast as I can!

Teenage Vala: I am so sick of being treated as an object to be worshiped! I am a real person with real feelings!

Teenage Daniel:: You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore...

Teenage Vala: I'm pregnant.

[Cut to SG-1 in the conference room.]

Lt. Col. Carter: Uh-uh.

Dr. Jackson: No.

Lt. Col. Mitchell: [incredulous look] Nope.

Teal'c: [sullen silence]

Lord of the Rings, the movies and books. While the movies were based, loosely, off of the books. The endings on the movies were a bit worse. But when it comes to the Fellowship and the Two Towers then you already know “There is one after this.” The really poor ending is Return of the King. On the movie, how many ending scenes do we need to go through? And for the book, why is half the book just the “afterwords”?

I will not even touch Harry Potter, I never read the sixth and seventh book, it was mostly a “This fifth book is actually great… which means any book following this will be complete rubbish.” And what is it that happens to come out? “Watch what happens when I shove a stick up my nose to smash my brains then use this hooked thing to pull my brains out through my nose…” “Wait, that is what they do for Mummifying in Egypt.” “But it will work!”

Fast and Furious series. I remember first watching the first The Fast and The Furious, and at the ending I thought “Awesome ending, that works great, cool, great movie.” But everyone else was “Well I want more, this is such a cliffhanger leaving you wanting more…” Am I the only one who, while I enjoy Vin Diesel Movies, they rarely actually leave me with wanting a further movie, I think the endings are rather solid, but getting to that. They came out with 2 Fast 2 Furious, also an alright movie, just not as great without Vin Diesel, but I can live with it. The ending on it was also pretty solid though, “Alright, they will set up a garage then.” There is also Tokyo Drift in the equation, but, eh, not part of the story, and Vin Diesel was only at the end. But, in 2009, Fast and Furious came out. (How many can come out with the same name.) That ending was leaving me wanting more, and the story did not seem to match up with 2 Fast 2 Furious, why join back up with the force again? So, maybe 2 Fast 2 Furious was not part of the same universe, it was The Fast and The Furious, Fast and Furious, and then they will make another movie wrapping up the “I really want more, personally.” Still, I could personally be fine with having left it at the first movie without anything added. In a way, Babylon A.D. is like this, solid ending the way I see it, but a lot of other people are complaining about wanting a continued movie on it. The point? Explain? Please? Pretty Please?

The Anecdotal Rabbit